Lovingly Let Go

Recently, a relationship ended. When it happened, naturally there was grief. Leaking eyes that wouldn't stop and sometimes, at inconvenient and odd moments.

Yet, this ending is so very different from an ending that I experienced years ago.

Back then, I swung out of control and was in an emotional dark space. Pain was the defining reality. I was extremely bitter, sad and angry. It took a long time for me to regain my centre and balance from that ending. It was only when I decided to accept responsibility for change and started to tap on all the tools and resources available to me that I fully healed and more importantly, stayed a love optimist. And I hold dear to my heart, all the learnings gleaned from the experience so that I will turn even more into love.

You know that you have fully experienced love when you turn into love - that is the spiritual goal of life. ~ Deepak Chopra

When this relationship ended, I was no longer the old me. This time, there was no blame, accusations, pain or anger commonly associated with endings.

Instead, there was so much love, understanding and compassion present. Both parties accepted that the relationship ended because it has evolved. And yes, a healing space and time was needed but we could both lovingly let go. To aid the healing process, we utilised all the tools we know.

Today, just 10 days after the ending, our new beginning as good friends is off to a wonderful start. And in the past 10 days, I have continued with life in as rich a manner as I could. I was guest on air, met up with friends, did my healing sessions for clients and family, did a workshop and worked on developing new programmes.

This is only possible because I utilised all the tools I know, tapped on the loving support of friends (Thank you! Big Hug) and choose to stay positive.

I hope that my sharing will be a balm to anyone who has an aching heart. We need not live in prolonged pain. Not when there is so many tools and resources available to help us. It is a choice and an action. And we can heal from emotional grief so that we can enJOY life richly once more.

Intent. Ask. Attract. Manifest.

I have often shared about my experiences of the synchronicities of life and the amazing providence of the Universe. Today, I have another to share with you :)

Slightly more than a week ago, on the morning of Friday 15 April, I was doing my usual meditation. At the same time, decided to send an intention to the Universe asking for "something positive to happen so that I can reach out to more people... media exposure would be nice". Then I thought about the people I know in this field who have had media exposure and I celebrated their goodness and success (it is important in attraction work to have this abundant mindset and heart, where we can celebrate goodness happening to others). After sending out the intention, I left it as that and went about my busy day.

That afternoon, after a client's session, I checked my phone and saw a missed call from non familiar number and a few smses. One of them was this:

"Hi Bernadette, I am a producer with Mediacorp interested in featuring you on my relationship talkshow. Please call me back."

Wow.

I re-read the message, contacted her and that's how I ended up being guest on air for the lovely Michelle Martin's Between Us show , 938LIVE.

The programme was on Monday 18 May and am real glad it was just 3 days later because I had less time to worry about being on air live! It was my first radio show and as with all things new, had one or two butterflies flittering in my tummy.

The topic was on "Don't let shyness stop you from making love connections". Over the weekend, I prepared my notes, visualised the 'event' and sent happy energy to it as well.

My friends and family members were naturally excited and very encouraging. And their supportive and happy energy made it loads easier for me to go on my first radio show.

Monday night arrived, met Michelle at the studio and presto! we were on air. She's engaging and completely made me feel at ease. We chatted on the root cause of shyness in making the love connections, how to overcome shyness and tips for the shy in conversations. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and very appreciative to be given this experience.

Later in the week, Michelle asked me if I would like to join her again on Monday. This time, to talk about the points covered in my book Fly Free. Of course, I accepted the invite as it is an opportunity for me to reach out to more people who may be going through their dark nights of the soul.

Last night was the show and as we shared our thoughts with our listeners, I felt this immense joy that we can be beacon of light and hope for people who may be experiencing pain and challenges.

And I look forward to increasing opportunities to reach out to even more people.

Birthday present

A client turned friend decided that she would get her mum a distance healing session as a birthday gift besides giving her the usual red packet. To her, the gift of the session is meaningful and beneficial as it will help to maintain the well-being of her mum. Since my sessions include both physical as well as mental and emotional well-being, it is enhanced wellness on all levels. Wonderful way to kickstart another birthyear! And with distance healing, it is so very convenient because the client can continue with his or her activities without having to see me so no disruption to schedule or the need to travel to a venue. And it also means that the client can be anywhere in Singapore or in the world. This is why clients often purchase such sessions as gifts for their loved ones. It is certainly a lovely gift to receive, isn't it? :)

Appreciating Goodness

After visiting my grandma and parents, I walked to Simei MRT to head for my next appointment. The walk is short and pleasant.

From a distance, I saw a jogger heading my way. I side-step to my left, this would allow the jogger to continue her momentum, and continued walking. When she was in front of me, she smiled and said thank you. I smiled at her in return. In that one second of exchange, our spirit were uplifted by goodness.

I was surprised that she noticed my small gesture. To me, these gestures come naturally and I do them because I want to. I am used to people's oblivious non awareness or disregard of them. Her smile, recognition and thank-you is a reminder of the importance of noticing and acknowledging kindness and goodness.

How often do we notice little acts of kindness instead of taking them for granted, thinking it is our right? Someone opening the door for us, a teacher giving us advice, our parents cooking dinner for us, a cleaner aunty or uncle carefully wiping the table so that we can use it, a kind soul giving up a seat on the MRT or bus... endless examples.

Appreciation for goodness will continue the unfolding flow of goodness.

Follow Your Bliss

"Why do you want to continue being a healer when it is such a tough journey?"

This is a frequent question that I have received from others as well as one that I occasionally asked myself in the early stage of my journey. It is easy to list the obvious reasons... helping others, helping myself, the joy of witnessing change and transformation, a calling... But when you stop and truly think through the question, the answer is a lot deeper that what our logical minds have provided us with.

And it is this answer that have inspired and provided the strength for countless others to continue their chosen path in spite of naysayers and challenges. To continue doing work that others might consider as thankless or non productive. And it is not confined to the healing or helping profession. It applies to all professions across time.

It is following your bliss.

Be it to travel to an unknown land, to create that majestic piece of sculpture, to research and write a book on a dead language, to counsel and help others, to leave your country and start a new home in a foreign land, to risk your life daily in service of others, to teach financial literacy to people, to keep your housing estate safe and clean, to do your job to the best of your ability... the inspiring examples are endless.

I have been involved in youth work/ ministries, worked in advertising, event management and corporate training. Through the different professions and hats that I have worn, there were aspects of it that helped me to follow my bliss. The multi-layers of learnings and insights received from each role provided catalysts for me to understand the bliss that I am seeking. And they formed a foundation of strength, discipline and endurance to allow me to continue to follow my bliss as a healer.

I have internalised my bliss and so, people's reactions no longer affect me. When people reject what I have to offer, I am at peace. When the same people who rejected me seek my help, I welcome them with kindness. When my clients rejoice at their results, I offer thanks and appreciation for the unfolding of goodness. When family and friends questioned my choice of profession, I accept that their questions are from love and hence, I embrace that love. No longer do I feel irritated or flustered.

When you follow your bliss, you are responsible for the unfolding of your life. And you appreciate that the fact that ‎'no one owes us a living'. When we can understand and embrace this then we are able to grow in deeper appreciation of life and ourselves. Instead of being a victim and assigning blame to others, we proactively and positively take actions to create the change we want. And we stop wallowing in self-pity and demanding from others.

And thus it begins, the start of your journey of understanding your bliss and embracing it