In this month's issue of my e-newsletter 'the HAPPY catalyst', I featured my angel grandmas as Smile Catalysts. Often times, we take our own family members for granted. This is my little way of giving recognition to two wonderful ladies who are an inspiration to me and are my role models. :)

Smile Catalysts

  
It is lovely when someone brightens our day, isn't it? The world would certainly be a happier place with the presence of more 'smile catalysts'. In each issue, we will feature a Smile Catalyst; someone who brings smiles to the people in his or her life through their work and/or being.


This month, I would like to feature my grandmas who make us, their family members smile.

I love my grandmas dearly. They are angels who love us grandchildren from the moment they saw us. Who spent their time taking care of us when our parents were at work. Who patiently put up with our childish tantrums when we didn't get what we want. Who comforts us when we are at odds with the world. Who gamely approves our fashion choices (even if it's black clothes for the Lunar New Year). Who weeps with joy when we got married. Who empathise with me when my marriage failed. Who delights in our company. Who loves us for who we are. My grandmas.

Maternal Grandma

My maternal grandma lives with my uncle and cousin. A few years ago, when she could still move about by herself, when it was time for me to leave for home after my visits, she would send me to the door and then look out of the window to ensure that I'm walking safely home (home at that time was a street away). I cannot stay too late for my visit each time because in the eyes of my grandma, I'm forever her young grand-daughter. And the streets are too dark and unsafe to be staying out too late for a young girl. I would wave to her energetically from the street, ignoring the curious stares of bystanders, knowing that a loving pair of eyes is watching me. My maternal grandma has always put the needs of others before self. She's non-judgmental and always patient with others. And she loves her children, grandchildren and all the 'in-laws' as in daughter-in-law etc to bits!

Paternal Grandma

My paternal grandma lives in Ang Mo Kio and I do not see her as often as my maternal grandma. She was my primary caregiver when I was growing up and as such, I have a strong bond with her. For many years of my life, she cooked for me, washed my clothes, protected me from scolding, pampered me when I had a bad day at school, brought me to the doctor, listened to my rattling of my day's activities. She used to enjoy cooking and her nonya rice dumplings and braised duck were utterly delicious!

Through the passing years, they have grown older and became frailer. It is a reality that one day, these angels will watch me from afar. Yet for the time that they are here, I will do my best to savour the moments spent with them and TLC them. Angels. My grandmas.

Daydreaming

It was sheer luxury to be able to take two weeks off from 'work' to recharge and rejuvenate. I needed that break badly. And as such, am grateful for the abundance that came my way for me to do this. 

2012 was a different sort of year and the break allowed me to process all that has happened as well as to rest. Internal recharging. 

I have just started to ease back into 'work'. Am doing it at a slower pace than initially planned because I am listening to and honouring my inner self's desire for a little more break time. Again, I am grateful to be able to do this. 

My inner self needs to be 100% recharged and revitalised. To spend some time just enjoying being, meditating, visualising. To daydream. 

Daydreaming allows me to be in touch with my heart's true desires and to manifest the realities dreamt. As a young child, I engaged in daydreaming a lot. But oftentimes, the daydreams were probably 'wasted energy' because they were scattered and peppered with fears.

The difference is now, with all of life's experiences and the different courses/ trainings I have attended...daydreaming takes on a whole new dimension.

Like attract like. 
Goodness attract goodness. 
Compassion at core.

Daydreaming allows me to become a better person. Because to manifest the reality dreamt, inner change-work is needed. 

Daydreaming allows me to remain positive. Regardless of life's flow, I can imagine and dream of a better reality. And choose my response that will manifest that reality. 

Daydreaming allows me to continue being a dream catalyst. I can harness all of my learnings, tools and abilities to be of help to myself and others. 

Daydreaming allows me to just be.

   

A loving transition

As a therapist, one of the more difficult role is that of preparing the family/ friends of my client for the transition of their loved one. 

Oftentimes, we have to share with the family/ friends that the soul of their loved one is ready to go. That as much as we love them and would like to hold onto them, the most loving action would be to lovingly let go. 

Of course, it is not easy to let go. How could we when our hearts are filled with so much love for this other person? How could we when we could not possibly imagine living life without this person?

But through the years, I have realised that when a soul decides it is time to go, it is time. He or she may be receiving the best medical care, may be showing marked improvements, may be receiving complementary therapies... it does not matter. If his or her soul makes a decision, then it is time. 

And we have to respect his or her decision. For it is in respecting that decision (even if we do not understand) that we truly love the person deeply. 

In the past weeks, I have had to journey with a client and prepare her to be able to lovingly let go of her dad. She has done everything she could to aid his healing over the years but now, her dad was ready to move on. It was not easy for me to tell her as it is. Yet I felt that it was needed because then, she could spend the time to resolve issues or to simply have heartfelt conversations with her dad. I am appreciative that she was open to what I have to share even though it must have been devastating for her to hear it. She was so hopeful he would get better. 

He left this physical realm yesterday, peacefully. And she messaged me to thank me and my fellow therapist for helping her to be able to let go lovingly. I am glad we could be of help.

For sure, there would be the healing of grief needed. But the most important thing is that her dad was able to  leave them peacefully and joyously. His soul is happy and ready for the next phase of his journey. And that's the most loving thing we can do for our loved ones; a peaceful and loving transition to the next phase of his or her journey.

Riding Through a Storm

This has been a rather difficult week. But as I shared with the participants at my training workshop yesterday, we can still experience goodness in our days regardless of the situations that we are facing. 

And by tapping on the tools and resources that we have, we can stay as calm, centred and sane as we can to ride through the storm. For then, we will surely experience sunshine. 

Keep faith. Trust.

Happy Children's Day!

Journey Within, 4 October 2012

Recently, I signed up for art lessons with Diana Lim from Meow-Meow-Art. I have always wanted to paint but never knew I could till my first lesson with Diana. 

This reinforced my beliefs that (1) we never know what we can accomplish till we try it and (2) when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

October celebrates Children's Day and yesterday, as I immersed myself in completing my latest painting titled Journey Within, I kept thinking of the many disadvantaged children being looked after by my friend Val Whyte's Safe Haven Projects. And I decided that I will use this painting as a way to bring smiles to them!

If you like and connect with this painting and at the same time, would like to help the children with a donation to Safe Haven Projects, please contact me. This painting would be gifted at the end of October to the donor who pledge the highest amount. :)

Happy Children's Day to one and all! Stay childlike!

:) B

Learning Can Be Fun

Having fun is the best way to learn :)

Did a couple of coaching sessions over the past weeks, and a common feedback given is that they never expected the sessions to be this fun!

I started training, teaching and mentoring since I was 18 years old. And right from my very first session, I strove to make it enjoyable regardless of how 'dry' the topic might be or who the audience might be. Students, educators, parents, professionals, bankers, home makers... it does not make a difference.

This probably stem from the fact that as a student, I often fell asleep during lessons. Auditory learning is my least preferred choice and coupled with the hot stuffy classroom (we did not have air conditioned rooms back then) plus non interactive mode of teaching, falling asleep was the most natural result. And what naturally transpired next is a chalk smacking into my face. Yup, the age of non whyteboards. 

So when I became a 'teacher'/ trainer, I decided that I will: 

• make my sessions enjoyable and relevant for the participants
• incorporate useful learnings and activities; no silly exercises or activities
• respect the participants' time so no fillers activities just to waste time
• use a blend of methods so that all learning preferences is included

One of the great things about starting my own practice is that I can decide the direction of Dream Catalyst and the projects that I am involved with. So I can be choosy about who I work with. As such, it gives me immense delight to work with organisations both non profit and businesses that serve to make a difference in the lives of others. These organisations genuinely incorporate training programme as part of it's mission to better the lives of their members or employees. Increased productivity and efficiency is the bonus of happy team members. 

Yup, learning can be fun! Why not? :)

Be Choosy about Labels

Discard non useful labels, choose positive ones!

Recently, a client brought her 9 year old daughter who has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). 

During the session with this beautiful girl, we had an engaging chat about her hobbies, interests and her thoughts. 

And after the session, it was clear that this highly intelligent girl has been labelled wrongly! 

In another case, a young man came to see me for a session. One of the issues that he faced is that of procrastination which he says he had since his teenage years. Yet in our chat, we discovered that he is certainly not a procrastinator. Rather, he tend to push himself too hard to complete tasks over a period of time. After that, he finds himself not wanting to do anything and thus procrastinate. I shared with him that he is probably having a mild burnt-out from the 'overworking' thus the reluctance to do anything. You could literally see his eyes lit up with "Aha!" and everything just made sense. It was a label that his parents had given him in his teenage years and which he had accepted. He discarded that label and instead, adopted the strategies that I proposed to him so that he can have a school-life balance. It is important for him to discover this because he will be going into a highly stressful industry upon graduation. And if he is not able to maintain his well-being, it is highly likely that he will suffer burnt out. 

In our life, society, family, friends, strangers and even we ourselves often put a label on who we are. "I am a success, I am popular, I can never succeed, I am a failure, I am a depressive, I am ugly, I am clever, I can write well, I..." 

It is important for us to be truly aware of these labels and question them instead of accepting them blindly. If they are not useful ones, discard them. Keep those that are positive and life-giving to you. 

As therapists, it is also important for us to be able to look beyond the labels "he/she suffers from a terminal illness, he is beyond hope, she is a difficult client..." The label may just present us with a first layer of awareness but it is certainly, not the full story. When we are able to keep an open mind and attitude, that is when we are truly able to uncover and discover more so that we can be catalysts of transformation to our clients.