Be Choosy about Labels

Discard non useful labels, choose positive ones!

Recently, a client brought her 9 year old daughter who has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). 

During the session with this beautiful girl, we had an engaging chat about her hobbies, interests and her thoughts. 

And after the session, it was clear that this highly intelligent girl has been labelled wrongly! 

In another case, a young man came to see me for a session. One of the issues that he faced is that of procrastination which he says he had since his teenage years. Yet in our chat, we discovered that he is certainly not a procrastinator. Rather, he tend to push himself too hard to complete tasks over a period of time. After that, he finds himself not wanting to do anything and thus procrastinate. I shared with him that he is probably having a mild burnt-out from the 'overworking' thus the reluctance to do anything. You could literally see his eyes lit up with "Aha!" and everything just made sense. It was a label that his parents had given him in his teenage years and which he had accepted. He discarded that label and instead, adopted the strategies that I proposed to him so that he can have a school-life balance. It is important for him to discover this because he will be going into a highly stressful industry upon graduation. And if he is not able to maintain his well-being, it is highly likely that he will suffer burnt out. 

In our life, society, family, friends, strangers and even we ourselves often put a label on who we are. "I am a success, I am popular, I can never succeed, I am a failure, I am a depressive, I am ugly, I am clever, I can write well, I..." 

It is important for us to be truly aware of these labels and question them instead of accepting them blindly. If they are not useful ones, discard them. Keep those that are positive and life-giving to you. 

As therapists, it is also important for us to be able to look beyond the labels "he/she suffers from a terminal illness, he is beyond hope, she is a difficult client..." The label may just present us with a first layer of awareness but it is certainly, not the full story. When we are able to keep an open mind and attitude, that is when we are truly able to uncover and discover more so that we can be catalysts of transformation to our clients.