3 Reflective Activities to Usher in 2015

If we celebrate the years behind us they become stepping-stones of strength and joy for the years ahead.

It is two days before the dawn of 2015. A perfect time for reflection in preparation for a brand new year.

Here are three suggestions for reflective activities:

What Would You Like 2015 to be Like?

For the past few years, I have set a new year resolution for example, my resolution for 2014 is to be anchored in bliss, feel bliss, gift bliss and be bliss. While people often cite that resolutions do not work, and studies show that most people fail, I believe that resolutions can work for you if you decide to be guided by it as much as possible. I did not feel pressured nor restricted by it so it became easier to follow.

I used to set specific goals but since 2011, I started to set intentions instead which works very well for me. The intentions provide a 'roadmap' for what you want to do, to be and to have. For those of you who work better with setting specific goals, please do so. Utilise the system which works best for you. :)

Tip 1: when you are setting your resolution and intentions, please feel happy and joyous doing it so that you are amplifying happy energies!

Tip 2: State what you want and not what you do not want.


What Makes You Happy?

For those of you who are in a stormy period of your life, perhaps this reflective exercise of knowing what makes you happy would be useful.

If you do not know what would make you happy then most likely, you will find yourself caught in an endless web of unhappiness. If you do not know what would make you happy, then it is challenging or near impossible for anyone else in your life to help give a little nudge.

If you are feeling unhappy right now, take some time off for yourself. Have a cup of tea or coffee, relax and then start thinking about what would make you happy. If your mind starts to go "but I can't achieve that", "how can I get that" etc, STOP and bring your attention back to what would make you happy.

During the session, if your mind is a blank when it comes to what would make you happy, then that's an important realisation and insight for you isn't it? If that happens, then recognise your new insight and start to focus on the future.

For those who are experiencing severe pain and this is an impossible exercise to do...be brave to seek and accept help. Confide in a friend or make an appointment to speak with a counsellor, coach or therapist. Everyone deserves to live a life of joy and dignity.


Creating Your Dream Boards

In 2007,my dear friend M encouraged me to put up my vision (dream) boards - not just the typical one that most people do but three separate boards for me to paste pictures of the things I'd like to be doing, having and being.

The boards forced me to reflect on what I truly wanted in life at that given point in time (you have to think before you put stuff up!), allowed me to dream bigger and gave me that extra dosage of sunshine when I felt down. 

Bit by bit, month by month, year by year... what I like to be doing, having and being became a manifested reality. Some quicker, while some took a wee longer. The boards helped me to creatively energetically Visual-Realise my dreams while embarking on the many learning journeys helped to accelerate the transformation of my life.  

Instead of 3 boards, you could combine them into one. Besides pictures, you can also include written words or phrases. You can review and change your board(s) along the way.


 

A Thankful Heart

Last week, during a coaching session for a client, this reflection question popped up for her: What does it mean for you to have a thankful heart?

She is going through probably the fiercest hardest storm to-date. She's been bruised and battered by the hard winds and shivered for countless nights. But through it all, she's found refuge and sanctuary and, an inner strength and resilience. Above all, she has been able (with great determination and discipline) to maintain a strong sense of calm. Releasing of hatred and anger is the goal she is working towards.

It is not easy being my client because at the onset of our journey together, I tell them that my role is not to sugar coat nor am I in a popularity contest. My role is to be a catalyst in the transformational journey and that means facing hard truths at times. It also means accepting and taking action on recommendations even if it is something that throws them out of their comfort zone. Or something that is painful for them to do. For those with perseverance and willingness to do what it takes, there is always positive changes.

In my client's case, she was what the world would perceive as the 'victim' in the situation. So the question I posed to her was not an easy one. But she graciously and openly accepted the reflective task for this period of Christmas in preparation for a new fresh start in 2015.

It is also a question that I have taken on for my own self-reflection and preparation for a brand new year. And it is a question that I think would benefit many.

In his book Hardwiring Happiness, neuropsychologist Dr Rick Hanson shared about the importance of regularly taking in the good to create neural pathways we need for well being. Unless we pay mindful, sustained attention to them, most positive experiences flow through our brains like water through a sieve. The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.

If that it the case, then having a thankful heart would also allow us to create positive neural pathways as well as a healthy heart.

What does it mean for you to have a thankful heart?

I am still reflecting on the question and it has been liberating to explore some of the pathways that my heart takes me to. To savour each new insight and thought. Much to think about and lots of experiences to reframe. All which is useful and beneficial for moving ahead.

Celebrating Others' Goodness

Its your road, and yours alone.
others may walk it with you,
but no one can walk it for you. ~ Rumi

Years ago, I used to envy the lives of others. Lives that I perceive as being happier than mine. The thing about envy is that it rarely spurs you to respond or react positively. Instead, it salts the wounds and the bleeding of bitterness starts once more. Envy also prevents us from being 100% happy for someone's good news. Instead, the question "why can't it happen to me?" pops in to over heat the self-pity soup leaving us burnt.

Then wise mentors appeared to remind and teach me to embrace and celebrate my own life. To embrace the sufferings, the pains, the anguish that appears on my own road. Just like I would embrace and enjoy the goodness, the joys, the learnings that is mine.  And to practice being 100% happy for others' goodness and joys. 

This is a teaching worth absorbing.
This is a practice worth living.
This is a path into total bliss.

 

Thank you mentors.

 

Painting by B: Called to Love, 13 September 2013

 

The Fragility of Life

We all know of someone or know someone who knows someone who depart from this realm suddenly. It is especially difficult when it is someone young or someone who died unexpectedly. That's when we remind ourselves about the fragility of life. That's when we remind ourselves to treasure life and our loved ones in all moments. 

Then our schedules catch up with us. Our to-do lists need to be checked off. The endless cycle of work that needs completing.  And we forget. 

The fragility of life. 

It is not just when someone we love departs from this realm that we feel this. It happens when relationship changes unexpectedly and suddenly.

The fragility of life.

It spur us to treasure the moments. It allows us to be detached from expectations of a forever and forever. It facilitates the movement of grace for people to change their minds. 

It adds to the precious beauty that is life. 
 

Feeling happy without feeling guilty

I bumped into a friend while on my way for my reflective swim this morning. Haven't seen her for a long time.

Friend: "Hi, how have you been?"
Me: "I am good. On way for a swim."
Friend: "Good life"
Me: "Yes, taking a break today from work..."

Oops, I found myself starting to justify my good life. Did a mental STOP and then I continued happily chatting to her without feeling guilty about my good life. 

Yes, I am truly enjoying the positive flow of my life right now. I am happy and blissfully so. 

Yet it was only last week that I had a breakthrough: I was finally able to fully embrace and enjoy the happy and good flow of my current life without guilt that other people around me eg my clients, friends or family members are going through difficulties and challenges. I used to feel bad that life's so good for me now while others are still in pain. 

Now, I can continue to be a happy catalyst to others. And at the same time, fully enjoy being the happy me and my happy life.

Daydreaming

It was sheer luxury to be able to take two weeks off from 'work' to recharge and rejuvenate. I needed that break badly. And as such, am grateful for the abundance that came my way for me to do this. 

2012 was a different sort of year and the break allowed me to process all that has happened as well as to rest. Internal recharging. 

I have just started to ease back into 'work'. Am doing it at a slower pace than initially planned because I am listening to and honouring my inner self's desire for a little more break time. Again, I am grateful to be able to do this. 

My inner self needs to be 100% recharged and revitalised. To spend some time just enjoying being, meditating, visualising. To daydream. 

Daydreaming allows me to be in touch with my heart's true desires and to manifest the realities dreamt. As a young child, I engaged in daydreaming a lot. But oftentimes, the daydreams were probably 'wasted energy' because they were scattered and peppered with fears.

The difference is now, with all of life's experiences and the different courses/ trainings I have attended...daydreaming takes on a whole new dimension.

Like attract like. 
Goodness attract goodness. 
Compassion at core.

Daydreaming allows me to become a better person. Because to manifest the reality dreamt, inner change-work is needed. 

Daydreaming allows me to remain positive. Regardless of life's flow, I can imagine and dream of a better reality. And choose my response that will manifest that reality. 

Daydreaming allows me to continue being a dream catalyst. I can harness all of my learnings, tools and abilities to be of help to myself and others. 

Daydreaming allows me to just be.

   

Riding Through a Storm

This has been a rather difficult week. But as I shared with the participants at my training workshop yesterday, we can still experience goodness in our days regardless of the situations that we are facing. 

And by tapping on the tools and resources that we have, we can stay as calm, centred and sane as we can to ride through the storm. For then, we will surely experience sunshine. 

Keep faith. Trust.

Learning Can Be Fun

Having fun is the best way to learn :)

Did a couple of coaching sessions over the past weeks, and a common feedback given is that they never expected the sessions to be this fun!

I started training, teaching and mentoring since I was 18 years old. And right from my very first session, I strove to make it enjoyable regardless of how 'dry' the topic might be or who the audience might be. Students, educators, parents, professionals, bankers, home makers... it does not make a difference.

This probably stem from the fact that as a student, I often fell asleep during lessons. Auditory learning is my least preferred choice and coupled with the hot stuffy classroom (we did not have air conditioned rooms back then) plus non interactive mode of teaching, falling asleep was the most natural result. And what naturally transpired next is a chalk smacking into my face. Yup, the age of non whyteboards. 

So when I became a 'teacher'/ trainer, I decided that I will: 

• make my sessions enjoyable and relevant for the participants
• incorporate useful learnings and activities; no silly exercises or activities
• respect the participants' time so no fillers activities just to waste time
• use a blend of methods so that all learning preferences is included

One of the great things about starting my own practice is that I can decide the direction of Dream Catalyst and the projects that I am involved with. So I can be choosy about who I work with. As such, it gives me immense delight to work with organisations both non profit and businesses that serve to make a difference in the lives of others. These organisations genuinely incorporate training programme as part of it's mission to better the lives of their members or employees. Increased productivity and efficiency is the bonus of happy team members. 

Yup, learning can be fun! Why not? :)

Turning 40 and feeling...

fabulous! What a contrast to 10 years ago when I celebrated my 30th birthday. 

The birthday bash that my friends threw me to usher in a new birth year was the best ever - they planned, rehearsed (there was a surprise dance item by 10 of the males in our group) and celebrated big style with lots of laughter, love and kindness! 


But pain laced the celebration because at that time, my marriage was in shambles and my carefully constructed happy facade was melting. My friends sensed my pain yet respected my reluctance to talk. So they threw me the love-filled celebration to hopefully offer a distraction and respite. 


The years that followed were dark ones. Broke and in debt, heart ache from a subsequent failed relationship, self-confidence shredded.... sure felt like a complete failure. But I continued with my healing journey with the hope that life will be different and be the one that I dream about. I attended courses, read even more, self-reflected, went for healing sessions and did self-healing and whenever I grew weary and tired (and self-pity overwhelmed me), I recharged from the supportive strength of my family and friends and bask in the embrace of God. Step by step, part by part, patience layered with patience... life transformed. 

Today, I am living the life I dreamt about and that's why, each birthday is an appreciation of how life can truly change for the better. 

And my dearest wish is that if anyone is facing a dark night, may he or she too, be able to bask in the warmth of sunshine and enjoy a changed life. 

Appreciating Goodness

I just came back from teaching a QT workshop over the weekend in Thailand. As always, the participants are lovely. Even though it was a large group and we needed translation, everything went smoothly. So much loving energies!

As I am writing this, I feel very blessed to be able to enjoy what I do and at the same time, be a Dream Catalyst - to travel , teach and heal. To have the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life with varied experiences. 

It is not an easy path but it is so very fulfilling because I am walking my path. In the same way, when you walk your path, you too will feel the joy in spite of the challenges and obstacles that you may face. 

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Through the years, I have worked on self-esteem issues. To be able to appreciate and love myself fully including my physical self. 

Last week, my friend Kar Leong and I met up to do a short video for our I am a Smile Catalyst project. Surprisingly, I was quite uncomfortable throughout the whole process. It was just 2 plus minutes but it sure felt like a long time. 

After that, I started to process it through and I realised it was not the filming that made me uncomfortable but looking at my 'crooked face'. 

When I was 9 years old, the right side of my face was paralysed. Doctors suspected a burst vessel. I had to go for light therapy sessions once a week for about a year (if I am not mistaken) and for some time, was very conscious that my face was crooked. 


After I learnt energy healing, I started to send healing to my face. Over time, it has become more aligned. Except on video, it is more obvious. Or perhaps, it is obvious when I speak to others but I only get to see myself on video so that affects me.

When my cousin (who helped us with the video) emailed it to me, I cringed when I first watched it and was tempted not to post it up. BUT this project is larger than my insecurities and vanity. And this is also a good opportunity for me to let go of this not-useful hang up about my 'crooked face'. The paralysis is an event that happened and I cannot change it. Instead, I am blessed to have overcome it and that is definitely more important than a little misalignment. 

I have watched the video a couple more times and definitely, am focused on the happy message rather than on me. enJOY it!

Launch of the HAPPY catalyst

My web guy and I have been busy with the preparation work (he's truly fantastic and awesome!) and yes, we are ready for the launch of the HAPPY catalyst next week!

NEWSLETTER FEATURES

In the newsletter, I'll be featuring ways to further enhance your life and well-being, and share tips to improve your healing techniques.

You can also read about my interviews with Smile Catalysts - people who transform the lives of people around them. I hope you will be inspired by their interesting insights, just as much as I am!

My dream is that the newsletter will be a little boost of energy and sunshine to brighten your month, and a catalyst of encouragement on your journey. :)

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If you wish to be in the newsletter mailing list, simply head to http://www.thedreamcatalyst.com/newsletter  and sign up! The signup process is easy and will take you less than 5 minutes! 

Thank you for being a part of this wonderful journey. 

Wishing you blissful and delightful days!

:) B

Abundance for one and all

Last Friday, I met up with an FB friend Dennis Ng and he generously offered to help promote my book Fly Free on his website. I enjoyed my chat with him and it is obvious that he is someone who has an abundance mindset. He happily shared valuable advice with me even though it was our first meeting.

In all we do, keeping an abundance mindset, feeling abundant and being abundant allows greater joy to flow into our lives and the lives of others. We remain centred on goodness and love, for self and for others. Infinite abundance for everyone.

When we hold on tightly to our ego and sense of self worth, to fear of competition and our sense that we are not good enough, what follows is pain, self-centredness and a focus on self and only self. Scarcity mentality. That there is finite goodness to be shared so one must grab one's larger share. That we must compete in order to survive and succeed. Living in this sort of world is certainly not a blissful one.

We can begin to cultivate and live with an abundance mindset through (1) awareness and (2) putting it into practice in our daily living. When I first started living this, it was not on auto pilot. Before doing an action or when I felt an emotion, I had to ask myself "am I coming from a place of abundance or scarcity?". Through time and practice, it became easier and became a way of living. 


I enjoying living and being in this abundant universe, free from competition and petty emotions. And living in abundance also means attracting a continuous in-flow of goodness. 

Abundance for one and all. 

Angels

Do you
Hear me calling you
The voice of a mother, a father and a child
Would you recognize the truth
Do you feel a love that's falling from my eyes

Take just a minute
Come and rest you by my side
Let me tell you your own story
Let me walk you through your lives
Only a second
That's all it takes to realize
There's a hundred thousand angels
By your side

Do you
Hear me talk to you
I whisper through the doorways
And pathways of your mind
Clear like the morning dew
And fresh from my journey
Cross an ocean of blue

Take just a minute
Come and rest you by my side
Let me tell you your own story
Let me walk you through your lives
Only a second
That's all it takes to realize

There's a hundred thousand angels by your side
There's a hundred thousand angels by your side

***

My dear friend Marilyn left this physical realm on Monday. In my previous post Keeping Faith, I shared about the healing journey that she had undertaken. How she stayed positive in spite of the negativity of the doctors' diagnosis. How we met a caring and professional medical team at St Georg Klinik in Bad Aibling Germany. How her family and friends rallied together in love.

Kindness, joy and love.

The essence of who she is.
The qualities of the final phase of her earthly journey.
The basis for her journey ahead.
And the legacy that she leaves and lives in her family.

Kindness, joy and love.

That's the energy that emanated from her the first time we met. She had found my contact from the list of certified QT practitioners and emailed me from Scotland on 16 Feb 2007, asking about a healing session when she is in Singapore for a planned holiday.

It was much later when we were friends that I shared with her that she was my first paid client. It was also much later that I realised she had chosen me from the list of practitioners because she felt I can be a friend.

Even from the start, we connected metaphysically as well even though we were miles and miles apart. I was rereading our email exchanges and very soon after we met, I had emailed her saying that her face popped up and so as with always, will follow the guidance. At that time, she was back in Scotland. She emailed back to share that her dad had passed on several days ago.

And whenever she popped over to Singapore, we will meet up and it felt that we knew each other for a very long time. In between the catching up, we stayed in touch through emails. We both enjoy writing and reading letters, so we wrote to each other very often. I did a check a couple of days ago and there is 700+ of emails exchanges between us. :)

In 2008, I visited Scotland for the first time and she warmly welcomed me into her home and her family. That month long hols was my longest ever at that time and it was also life changing. Shortly after the trip, I decided to quit my corporate training job to focus on energy healing full time. M was one of the those who encouraged me to pursue my life's purpose.

Through the days, months and years, we have shared many wonderful memories and exchanged lots of insights. She has witnessed my personal growth as well as that as a healer. She is a friend who accepted me and loved me for who I am - whizzy whazziness and all.

So yes, I do miss her physical presence with me. Yet in the eternal joy of all that is, I know we are still connected.

And so, joy is the theme for the service that will take place next week. No sombre colours or mourning. Instead, it will be a celebration of the extraordinary woman who walked on this world, touching and influencing the lives of those she met. I am blessed to have met her and have her in my life.

Kindness, joy and love.

Active Aging

Life is what you make it out to be.
Life is what you create it to be.
Life is looking out for and seizing the opportunities that come your way.
Life is persevering when it gets tough or challenging.
Life is going with and enjoying flow.

After her retrenchment 11 years ago, my mum devoted her time to her family and volunteer work. Yet there are so many hours in a day that I often felt that it must be "boring' for her. Then two years ago, she signed up for training course at the Employment & Employability Institute (e2i) and soon found herself working for Universal Studios Singapore as an attraction host at the Return of the Mummy ride. It was not an easy journey returning to the workforce and I often tell her to work only if she enjoys it. She persevered.

On Sunday, I was chilling out with her at my grandma's place and I started to read the Sunday Times. When I came to the Lifestyle page 6, I had a surprise. My mum is in it!


She had been interviewed as one of three persons who have carved out a second career late in life. The interview took place several weeks ago but she kept quiet about it to surprise us. I am so proud of her that I msged my dear friends to share about it.



She persevered in her training and give her best in her job. She may be the oldest in her team yet her energy level and enthusiasm is contagious.

A close friend shared with me that she is inspired by my mum's example. I am too! And you bet, she will be a role model that I will cite to encourage my older clients that life can still be meaningful and enjoyable regardless of the age.

In Union

There by the river I sat.
Within. Without.
Am. Be.
Union.

Healing Hands

When I was in Madrid two weeks ago, we had an interesting experience at a restaurant. After a lovely dinner, my aunty, sis and I queued to use the ladies. My aunty started chatting with a Spanish lady who was excited to learn that we are from Singapore as she has Singaporean friends.

After the conversation, we shook hands and said our goodbyes. When she came to mine, she loudly happily exclaimed: "You have healing hands!"

She was delighted to learn that her 'intuition' was spot on as she believes that she is sensitive to energy. Am glad our little chat affirmed her belief in herself. And she asked God to continue to bless me in all I do. That's nice!

Oneness

I stood still, enjoying the quiet of the trees and the alive rhythm of the river. And in this stillness, the red squirrel scampered across me in familiarity. For I was no threat, in the oneness.

Aging with dignity

My maternal grandma is 103 years old. In spite of her age, she has always been highly independent and mobile. Able to walk, feed herself and bathe herself etc.

About a week plus ago, she had a fall. She did not want to go to the hospital and the family felt that there was nothing much the doctors could do for her legs. So instead, we took care of her and did energy healing sessions for her.

The pain went away quite quickly and she is up and about. However, the fall took away her mobility ability; she is unable to walk or to go to the toilet by herself. One of us will lift her from her bed to the wheelchair so that she can watch TV in the living room, enjoy her meals, chat with us, or go to the toilet. We also bought a portable loo for the times when she isn't able to 'control' for the distance to the toilet.

We know that it isn't easy for my grandma to lose this independence (she was cooking delicious food up to the age of 80+). Who would?

One afternoon, after I have cleaned her after she has used the portable loo, she told me in dialect: "I am so sorry that you have to do all these for me when you visit me."

My heart broke when I heard that. But I smiled and reassured her that I am happy to be able to help her. She has done so much for us and it is just a small thing.

Dignity. Love. Care.

We ease her feeling of lost dignity with our reassurances of love and care. We also ensure that we give her opportunities to do certain things by herself for example, when we bathe her, we will let her wash her face by herself. We attend to her with appreciation, love and respect in our heart. And I trust that she will feel our heart energy and that it soothe her.

Kudos to my mummy, daddy, uncle and sis who are my grandma's primary caregivers. It isn't easy being a caregiver and they inspire me with their patience and love.

Intent. Ask. Attract. Manifest.

I have often shared about my experiences of the synchronicities of life and the amazing providence of the Universe. Today, I have another to share with you :)

Slightly more than a week ago, on the morning of Friday 15 April, I was doing my usual meditation. At the same time, decided to send an intention to the Universe asking for "something positive to happen so that I can reach out to more people... media exposure would be nice". Then I thought about the people I know in this field who have had media exposure and I celebrated their goodness and success (it is important in attraction work to have this abundant mindset and heart, where we can celebrate goodness happening to others). After sending out the intention, I left it as that and went about my busy day.

That afternoon, after a client's session, I checked my phone and saw a missed call from non familiar number and a few smses. One of them was this:

"Hi Bernadette, I am a producer with Mediacorp interested in featuring you on my relationship talkshow. Please call me back."

Wow.

I re-read the message, contacted her and that's how I ended up being guest on air for the lovely Michelle Martin's Between Us show , 938LIVE.

The programme was on Monday 18 May and am real glad it was just 3 days later because I had less time to worry about being on air live! It was my first radio show and as with all things new, had one or two butterflies flittering in my tummy.

The topic was on "Don't let shyness stop you from making love connections". Over the weekend, I prepared my notes, visualised the 'event' and sent happy energy to it as well.

My friends and family members were naturally excited and very encouraging. And their supportive and happy energy made it loads easier for me to go on my first radio show.

Monday night arrived, met Michelle at the studio and presto! we were on air. She's engaging and completely made me feel at ease. We chatted on the root cause of shyness in making the love connections, how to overcome shyness and tips for the shy in conversations. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and very appreciative to be given this experience.

Later in the week, Michelle asked me if I would like to join her again on Monday. This time, to talk about the points covered in my book Fly Free. Of course, I accepted the invite as it is an opportunity for me to reach out to more people who may be going through their dark nights of the soul.

Last night was the show and as we shared our thoughts with our listeners, I felt this immense joy that we can be beacon of light and hope for people who may be experiencing pain and challenges.

And I look forward to increasing opportunities to reach out to even more people.