Lovingly Let Go

Recently, a relationship ended. When it happened, naturally there was grief. Leaking eyes that wouldn't stop and sometimes, at inconvenient and odd moments.

Yet, this ending is so very different from an ending that I experienced years ago.

Back then, I swung out of control and was in an emotional dark space. Pain was the defining reality. I was extremely bitter, sad and angry. It took a long time for me to regain my centre and balance from that ending. It was only when I decided to accept responsibility for change and started to tap on all the tools and resources available to me that I fully healed and more importantly, stayed a love optimist. And I hold dear to my heart, all the learnings gleaned from the experience so that I will turn even more into love.

You know that you have fully experienced love when you turn into love - that is the spiritual goal of life. ~ Deepak Chopra

When this relationship ended, I was no longer the old me. This time, there was no blame, accusations, pain or anger commonly associated with endings.

Instead, there was so much love, understanding and compassion present. Both parties accepted that the relationship ended because it has evolved. And yes, a healing space and time was needed but we could both lovingly let go. To aid the healing process, we utilised all the tools we know.

Today, just 10 days after the ending, our new beginning as good friends is off to a wonderful start. And in the past 10 days, I have continued with life in as rich a manner as I could. I was guest on air, met up with friends, did my healing sessions for clients and family, did a workshop and worked on developing new programmes.

This is only possible because I utilised all the tools I know, tapped on the loving support of friends (Thank you! Big Hug) and choose to stay positive.

I hope that my sharing will be a balm to anyone who has an aching heart. We need not live in prolonged pain. Not when there is so many tools and resources available to help us. It is a choice and an action. And we can heal from emotional grief so that we can enJOY life richly once more.

Testimonial

Bernadette’s approach, skills, readings and intuition were instrumental in helping remove a block so that the way forward became clearer and better in life. Her works on energies are powerful, and when you open yourself up, as I did, to it and receive it with generosity, it is very effective.

I had sought B's assistance to help in managing energy ties, I was aware at that time when I got involved in a tornado of events between myself and 2 friends, the emotions and the dramas that subsequently evolved, I was not in position and state to help generate the best outcome for myself and others at the same time. At times like these, it is far more important and effective to complement actions, decisions, mental attitudes with managing where our energetic ties are and should be, especially with people and events that are very close to your heart.

I strongly recommend Bernadette when you want and need a hand in moving forward in issues relating to strong emotional issues and ties, and her energy work is great help in nourishing capacities for understanding, love, joy, and inclusiveness, and gradually transform anger, frustration, and fear that may lie deep in our consciousness.

Puyee, Singapore

Lovingly Letting Go

A couple approached me for a couple therapy session. Initially when the appointment was fixed, the objective was to work towards a better understanding of each other so that their relationship could be further enhanced. They have been experiencing challenges in their relationship.

Then a day before the appointment, things happened and the couple decided to move on their separate ways, However, they decided to continue with the session because they wanted to let go of any residual pain so that they could still remain friends.

As a therapist, I am touched by their desire to lovingly let go. And that they both lovingly supported each other in the healing journey ahead. There's recognition of pain, accepting of responsibility and forgiveness. A loving ability to bless the other party's future path, with no blame, anger nor resentment.

For myself, it was a challenging situation as I know the both of them personally. But I trusted that I will be guided and that I will be able to effectively use all the tools and skills that I have acquired to be of help.

During the session, we started with sharing on our expectations for the outcome for the session. That gives us present a clear direction as well as open communication. As they trusted me and my abilities, it was easy to follow the guidance of light and love and let the process flow and unfold. First we did an energy cord cutting so that new positive cords could be built. As they did the process, I balanced and energised the chakras that needed a little boost. This allowed them to be in a calm and peaceful state as they proceeded with the session.

Next we did a clearance conversation and for this, I meditated and came up with specific questions for each party. Purely followed my intuition as the words formed. Gave the list to them for reflection and then we had the conversation. They took turns to share their thoughts and answers to the questions. As they did so, I sent energy to them and worked on the parts that they were hurting and where there's a discord of energy.

At the end of the conversation, I gave them the option whether they would like to discuss the practicalities of moving on with me as facilitator or for them to do it in private, whichever is more comfortable for both parties. They opted to do so in private. We ended the session with a closing sharing from each party.

For sure, there's still healing to be done. But what's important is that as they continue their healing journey to move forward, there's no negative energy tied in to the past. Because they could both lovingly let go, the healing becomes easier and filled with love rather than blame, anger, pain, resentment... all the negative emotions often associated with a break-up.

Instead they consciously chose to focus on the positive aspects of moving forwards. I am inspired by their example and their desire to lovingly let go.